Diamonds are a Zombie’s Best Friend

In London, Michelina Lewendowska was buried alive by the man who was supposed to love her forever, her fiancé. Unfortunately for her, Marcin Kasprzak must’ve suffered from an extremely short attention span and was reaching for the remote on their relationship.

It’s got to be so incredibly hard to say, “I’m bored babe, we’re through,” so he instead took the easier route by enlisting his best buddy to help throw her tasered body headfirst into a cardboard computer box and bury her alive.

But here’s where the plot thickens, folks. The not quite zombie fiancée had a secret weapon on her that the man of her nightmares had not thought to disarm from her: the diamond ring he gave her with an inscription that read: “I’ll love you either forever or till I’m bored, whichever comes first.“ Okay, there may not have been anything engraved, but a grave was definitely in her future.

“I was trying to push him away with the taser. He knelt down, he pressed my ribs with his knee and continued to use the taser,” Lewendowska said.

Though the diamonds were tiny, much like the brains behind this operation, judge the baby carrots not by their size, for the ring was mighty enough to cut through Michelina’s taped hands and feet and dig a hole into her cheap coffin.

Dirt hit her face as she struggled for freedom. Though completely exhausted, she continued to cut and claw her way out till she saw the dark sky overhead and was clear from her coffin. She then flagged the first motorist who came her way.

Luckily for Michelina, the driver didn’t discriminate against zombies and picked up the gravehiker right away without question. Personally, if I saw a zombie climb out of a grave, I’d scream and hit the gas…but that’s just me. Luckily, I wasn’t the motorist or this poor tortured woman would still be running for her life.

Michelina is now in a London court pleading her case against a defense lawyer who insists the guys were only trying to scare her! Wow…they sure know how to play a practical joke to the hilt, don’t they? They really fooled us all into believing they were cold hearted murderers!

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