{"id":433,"date":"2011-05-26T21:34:30","date_gmt":"2011-05-27T02:34:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/?p=433"},"modified":"2021-04-11T15:37:51","modified_gmt":"2021-04-11T20:37:51","slug":"sorry-wrong-bible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/?p=433","title":{"rendered":"Sorry, Wrong Bible!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cAll my bags are packed I\u2019m ready to go, I\u2019m standin\u2019 here outside your door\u2026~I\u2019m Leaving on a Jet Plane by John Denver<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

According to Harold Camping, the world was predicted to end last Saturday, May 21st at 6pm. <\/p>\n

Someone wise once said to me, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice\u2026I\u2019ll still give you another shot, but fool me three times, and it\u2019s time to find another octogenarian soothsayer who\u2019s more proficient in math!”
\n
\n I just know I\u2019ve been on this same Camping trip before\u2026and before. Oh wait\u2026it\u2019s coming back to me now. It was in 1988 and again in 1994 when family radio network founder and self taught bible interpreter Harold Camping announced once, no twice, that the End of the World <\/em>was coming to a theatre near you. As I waited for the curtain to open and reveal the Rapture, the show was canceled due to technical difficulties, or a mathematical miscalculation, as Harold Camping sees it. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so hard to nail down the bible,\u201d he says. Perhaps he should have borrowed Thor\u2019s hammer, I say. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Still, he gave it all he had, as did so many others who spent their entire life savings on what he labeled his failed \u201cadvertising campaign.\u201d After 1994\u2019s prediction went sour, Camping brushed the cobwebs off his abacus, made some new mathematical computations and determined that May 21, 2011 was absolutely The End!<\/p>\n

So, once again I bought my tickets, sat myself down in the front row with the other 2 million or so deserving souls last Saturday, and listened to the orchestra play a rousing Stairway to Heaven on harp and violin. And at 6 o\u2019clock, the end of the world\u2026didn\u2019t happen. It was once again postponed due to technical difficulties. Starting to sound a bit like Broadway\u2019s Spiderman debacle, and, just as costly too! <\/p>\n

Camping\u2019s long running show to market his end of the world prediction carried with it an estimated price tag of $100 million in advertising costs\u2014yes advertising! He hung 1,200 billboards and spent millions on ads. Seems that no one will buy The End of the World nowadays unless it\u2019s effectively packaged like a Viva Viagra or Cialis moment. <\/p>\n

Listen, Rev. Camping, I don\u2019t mean to be critical, but perhaps math simply isn\u2019t your thing! Instead of forecasting the apocalypse, why not simply stick your finger out the window and report on all the tumultuous earth events that are going on right under your nose? With all the deadly tornadoes, floods and nuclear meltdowns, there\u2019s plenty to keep you busy on your family radio network. Why limit yourself to a single all-encompassing earthquake on a date that the bible stubbornly refuses to cough up for you?<\/p>\n

The bible even plainly states in Matthew 24:36, \u201c\u2026but about that day or hour no one knows\u201d except God. Or it\u2019s more popular sandbox translation: it\u2019s for Me to know and you to find out!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, how about you save yourself a ton of money that could be better used on a Mayan calendar, a working calculator, a thinner bible that CAN be nailed down, or on a more positive attitude that might involve raising group consciousness, instead of raising collective blood pressures. Just a little sumpin\u2019 you might want to think about to get you off this crazy apocalyptic conveyer belt you\u2019re on.<\/p>\n

Still, you\u2019ve got yourself a loyal following who have committed such acts that I thought only frat boys or Sacha Bara Cohen were brave enough to try.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been mocked and scoffed and cursed at and I\u2019ve been through a lot,\u201d said Jeff Hopkins, 52, a former television producer who drove for days with a lighted sign proclaiming the end of the world on top of his car.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

With such great talent to influence so many, Rev Camping, I propose you wield your power to predict the end of Snookie\u2019s writing career, 2 \u00bd Men, or something equally inconsequential that mankind will truly thank you for!<\/p>\n

And now time to confess my own sins. After a heavily catered End of the World party I held last week that ended badly with the actual continuation of the world, I realize it\u2019s time to pull up stakes, fold up my tent, and hop back aboard the magical mystery tour RV for another Rev. Harold Camping trip. Next stop: Rapture on October 21, 2011. If I don\u2019t see you there, I\u2019ll just catch you the next time!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cAll my bags are packed I\u2019m ready to go, I\u2019m standin\u2019 here outside your door\u2026~I\u2019m Leaving on a Jet Plane by John Denver According to Harold Camping, the world was predicted to end last Saturday, May 21st at 6pm. Someone … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":435,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,46,228,14,45],"tags":[89,91,92,71,44,94,93],"class_list":["post-433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divination","category-end-of-days-2","category-humor","category-new-age","category-predictions","tag-apocalypse","tag-bible","tag-harold-camping","tag-paranormal-2","tag-end-of-days","tag-psychic","tag-rapture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/433","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=433"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/433\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47671,"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/433\/revisions\/47671"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/435"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=433"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=433"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/traceypacelli.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=433"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}