A Ghost Story from RJ & Russell (Spelled with 2 “ll’s”)

It’s amazing how nearly everyone I meet has a ghost story, which makes you wonder why so many still don’t believe in those things that go bump in the night. Only yesterday in our kitchen, my daughter was entertaining two of the neighborhood’s most eligible teen bachelors, RJ Miquer & Russell Finney, when RJ asked me, quite out of the blue, whether I believed in ghosts?

Funny, right? Asking me whether I believe in ghosts is rather like asking George Carlin if there were stupid people in the world. My answer, of course, was a resounding “Duh.”

“RJ asked me, quite out of the blue, whether I believed in ghosts? “

“How about you?” I said, turning the tables.

Both RJ & Russell (spelled with two “ll’s), nodded emphatically.

“Do you have any stories for me?”

Another nod had me excited. “Well, take a seat, young men, tell me your tale and you just might see your names on my paranormal blog.” To seal their cooperation, I bribed them with “Grandma’s” Chocolate Chip cookies, which made them most eager to comply.

Sadly, I knew that Russell’s grandfather had passed on not long ago from a sudden heart attack. He was a builder and an artist, too, Russell confided. We’d had his grandfather over for dinner once and I was very surprised to learn that he was a gifted astrologer, as well, and therefore no stranger to the metaphysical world, much like myself. His grandfather had built Russell’s home long ago, moved away to California, where I’m told he had done some notable work on Johnny Carson’s home! And then he returned, had some unfortunate financial difficulties and tragically passed on, soon after.

Russell leaned in and confided he’d messed around with a Ouija Board when something startling occurred. A Spirit answered, making its presence known, though he wasn’t sure who it was.

“Russell assumed it was his dog, but the dog was found sitting outside.”

After watching countless episodes of Celebrity Ghost Story, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s never use a Ouija Board. For some reason, celebrities never seem to learn that simple lesson and continually come to regret it. So, I decided to spare Russell from any future appearances on Celebrity Ghost Story, and counseled him never to use the board again. “When you do, you open up the door to both good spirits and demons, alike. And once that door is opened, it’s pretty difficult to close it again,” I said.

That’s when RJ posed the question: “If someone dies an unexpected death, have you ever heard about their Spirit coming back?”

Yes, I had, but wondered where this was going. Turns out RJ was referring to Russell’s grandfather. One night the two of them were in Russell’s house playing Xbox, when a heavy door, the kind you have to yank and pull on to open, flew open of its own accord. The same thing happened again, a week later! The two also heard unexplained footsteps. Russell assumed it was his dog, but the dog was found sitting outside.

Creepy story indeed. And from this, and one other poignant tale, I’ve concluded two very important lessons. #1: “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.” ~ Princess Bride and, #2: Never mess with a Ouija Board!

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