The Talking Fridge

Once upon a time ago, it all began at Mickey’s—the baseball player, not the mouse, in this bar in New York City called Mickey Mantle’s Restaurant.

Inside the restaurant, was a magic ring that belonged to a charmed Refrigerator. And when Cliff, our ten year old hero from Pittsburgh saw it, he knew it would be the key to getting the refrigerator to speak to him.

So, one night after Cliff asked his mom to pass the ketchup, he slipped in, “Oh, and by the way, may I have $8,500 in cash to buy a magic ring for a talking refrigerator?” To his delight, his mom not only passed him the ketchup, but immediately forked over the green.

And with that money in hand, Cliff called the fridge’s people, and the fridge’s people gave him the cold shoulder. So, his mom stepped in and meddled, just a little, and arranged a personal meeting with the refrigerator, herself. You see, moms have their own paranormal ability to be incredibly manipulative—I mean, persuasive when it counts.

After the meeting was arranged, Cliff and his mom traveled with the magic ring to a book signing event where the refrigerator, built like an ex-Chicago Superbowl linebacker, was scheduled to attend. At the event, our hero presented the ring to the refrigerator.

The fridge shimmered and transformed into a man who strongly resembled William Perry of the Chicago Bears…”

After the boy placed the shiny bauble atop the fridge, its doors flew open, the light flashed on (though whether the light had already been on before it opened, still remains one of those unsolved mysteries) and the words, “Thank you” sprang forth from a baritone voice belonging to the fridge.

Then, an event even more miraculous occurred. The fridge shimmered and suddenly transformed into a man who strongly resembled William Perry of the Chicago Bears, who had sold his beloved Superbowl XX ring, back in 2007.

Young Cliff had previously learned the star suffered from an auto-immune disease called Guillain-Barre syndrome that can cause paralysis, and thought his hero might be happy to have his ring returned to him.

Mr. Perry was indeed happy and Cliff, our woodland prince, returned home with treasures that included two signed jerseys and football cards Perry had given him.

Though I was sadly disappointed to learn that this was not a paranormal story after all, as I’d first thought, but just a case of awe inspiring generosity, I still consider the boy’s warm hearted gesture to be supernaturally inspiring.

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